So, I have obviously posted my personal essay about my niece. I can say that I like the first 1/2 or so - the section where I am basically telling a story. I enjoyed writing that part, and it seemed like it flowed pretty well. Then, I completely hit the wall. I had about 9 different versions of the next part, including:
- Detailing the actual night she was born
- Writing about what was going on in my life the year she was born
- Writing about how my life has changed since she was born
- A section where I spoke about my family has changed since her birth
- A section where I detailed fun times I have had with my niece
- Comparing my situation with my niece to my relationship with my siblings
- Writing about how important my family is to me
Basically, what is in written here in my blog, is some strange combination of all of the above, and I do not like it. So, if you read my first draft, PLEASE let me know what direction I should take it in and let me know what I should.
By the way, I do feel bad leaving my nephew out of most of my essay, but it was hard to get both of them into the one essay.
4 comments:
I feel like I encountered some of the same problems and felt some of the same dissatisfaction. I thought that my essay would have come out a little different, and the length restrictions definitly ended up having an effect; good or bad. It was definitly an interesting task trying to put a life altering event into one short essay.
My problem was that I had too much to say in such little time. Just like you I had a great time telling the story, but trying to fit it into the larger picture of things proved difficult. It seems like you have a great deal of things to say, but now it's all about trying to either pick one or concoting a mixture of topics. I could have gone a million ways with my topic as well, so I'm looking forward to the external input of workshopping.
I like your explanation of why you 'hate' your narrative, Dave. I think many of us had some of the same sentiments while writing, and that's why I'm so excited to workshop our pieces. I really think that peer feedback is the best way to make something better! I am confident that you will find the 'answer' you are looking for from one of us in class this week. Good job!
I think that a part of us probably all hates our personal essays. Words cannot portray the emotion behind our individual situations. It's so hard to get everything to fit in the space and how to connect all the different, but very real emotions, in a manner that will make sense to someone else reading.
When you're asked to write about a life changing moment in your life, you are trying to reconstruct it in your mid to be able to get it on paper, but whatever is written will not compare to the actual experience. Obviously, we as writers, are left a little disappointed.
I enjoyed your piece a lot. It was how I felt when Samantha was born, in many ways, except I could only hold her several weeks after she was born and it was not nearly as dramatic.
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